Mistleto- Oh No
by birdie7272
Summary: Who loves Christmas more? / Merthur Xmas fluff. Total dribble.


**Mistleto- Oh No.**

* * *

"What is he doing here?!" came duel cries from either side of the apartment.

Everyone at the party stopped talking immediately and peeked over tinsel and lights alike to see who was shouting over the soft hum of Christmas music playing in the background.

No one was surprised to see the two shouting in simultaneous frustration were Arthur and Merlin, both of whom were looking at Gwen to answer their shouted question. It was her Christmas party after all. She was in charge of the guest list.

"Um," she stuttered and quickly volleyed between both boys. "You- you were both invited."

"Great," Arthur grunted. "And I thought it was going to be a nice idiot-free Christmas."

Merlin glared across the room with his arms crossed. "I thought you were on a ski trip at some posh resort or whatever."

"Cancelled." Arthur crossed his arms as well. "Which I only just realized is quite unfortunate. Morgana's bitching about the cold would have been infinitely better than watching you try to hold down your liquor again. Tell me, will we be treated to another tutorial on how to dance to _Thriller_ or do we get a Christmas theme this time?"

A few snickers came from the co-workers strewn about the flat. Merlin didn't know why they were laughing. They had all joined in with him after a few drinks of the extra strong punch. Including the boss currently poking fun at him.

Merlin pondered aloud, "I seem to recall you critiquing my technique. I believe you led us all in a round of _Beat It_ yourself."

Arthur bristled as everyone chuckled again. "You had too many rounds. You were drunk. I did no such thing."

"But I have witnesses." Merlin gestured to the room of onlookers, all of whom froze.

"So do I -to that god awful outfit of yours." Arthur gestured at Merlin's sweater. "Did you have a beer already or did you really leave the house like that sober?"

Merlin sighed and gestured at his red and green sweater covered in bows and glitter and ugly looking reindeer, complete with two light-up flashing noses. "It's an ugly Christmas sweater."

"You're not getting any arguments from me."

"It's on purpose, you prat. For fun. I know that's a foreign concept for you, you being the Grinch and all."

Arthur actually seemed offended and took a few steps across the room. "I am not the Grinch."

Merlin stepped forward too. "You're being an arse on Christmas. I'm pretty sure that makes you the Grinch."

"Guys," Gwen half whispered in a rushed panic.

The boys didn't move. They kept glaring at each other, both refusing to break eye contact as they waited for the other to make a move.

Gwen sighed, "Can we not do this now? I want this to be fun. Not gossip material for the New Year's party. Please try to get along?"

They must have heard the plea in her voice because they both ground their teeth and simultaneously said, "Fine."

Then they both turned around and stomped towards their respective friends, intent on avoiding one another for as long as possible.

Of course, this being a one-bedroom apartment and all, that wasn't going to last very long.

Merlin heard Arthur step up behind him in the small kitchen. "Oh no." He sighed deeply and turned. "What?"

Arthur gestured to his hand. "You're drinking."

"It's my second beer, Arthur. But if I have to keep talking to you that number is sure to go up."

"You're being ridiculous."

"And you're being a prat."

"You already called me that today."

Merlin frowned. "Well then, you're a double prat. A prat-prat. How does it feel to be a prat-prat Arthur Pendragon?"

Arthur very carefully tried to hold the frown on his face but had a difficult time when the snort of laughter escaped his throat. He quickly covered it with a cough and a drink and therefore missed Merlin's small smirk completely.

Arthur cleared his throat and said, "At least now I know what I'm getting you for Christmas?"

Merlin looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "And that would be?"

"A dictionary."

"Good." Merlin nodded. "That'll give me something to hit you over the head with."

"You sure you can lift something that heavy?"

"Ha bloody ha." Merlin huffed into his beer.

They stood there in silence for a few moments, Merlin looking at the crowd and Arthur staring at the lights on Merlin's chest until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Seriously though," Arthur said, turning to face him and lean against the counter. "Did you plan to paint your face with green glitter? Or were you aiming for the eyelids and miss? I wouldn't put it past you. You do have awful aim. I really could get you that dictionary." Arthur mimed a horrid throw of an imaginary dictionary that resulted in it landing somewhere near the tree on the other side of the room. "I'd be worried about my windows though."

Merlin rolled his eyes and subconsciously wiped at his face. There really was no point. Glitter was not going anywhere. "My mum's cat knocked the glitter down and her tail whipped me in the face. I think I went blind for a moment and- hey stop laughing, it's not funny!"

Arthur's laughter only grew louder. "I actually, really think it is Merlin. Explains why your sweater is so ugly. Did you actually make this yourself?" He pulled at one of the blinking noses until Merlin swatted his hand away. The light went snapping back into place, right across Merlin's nipple. He twitched but stood straight before Arthur could call him on it. "I could have sworn I saw you wear something this awful last month."

"The sweater is one of my older ones. I just added the Christmas stuff." Merlin pulled everything evenly back into place and realized he had not insulted Arthur in the last ten seconds and needed to rectify that discretion. "Besides, we can't all afford Ralph Lauren for Christmas. What's festive about the color purple?"

Arthur leaned down and tugged at the sweater he was wearing, careful not to stretch the fabric. "This happens to be cashmere. It's nice."

"Sure," Merlin said, joining him against the counter. "For work or something. Not for an office party, out drinking with friends." Merlin took another swig, nearly hitting Arthur's chin with the end of his beer bottle. "Grinch."

Arthur's face set and he nodded sharply. "Fine." He started to tug at the hem of his sweater and pull it over his head.

Merlin was awestruck as Arthur casually exposed his bare skin underneath, not even beginning to blush as his entire chest was unwrapped for everyone to see.

"Here," Arthur thrust the sweater towards Merlin. "Switch with me."

"What?" Merlin sputtered and dropped his beer in order to gesture surrender with his hands. "No way. Why?"

"I'm not a Grinch. I will wear your stupid ugly sweater if it proves it. So hand it over."

Merlin gaped and looked between Arthur, the purple sweater, and the mass of people staring openly at Arthur's chest. "You can't be serious." Arthur raised his brow in challenge and stepped even closer, close enough for the Ralph Lauren to fear the glitter. "Can I at least go to the bathroom and-"

"Now," Arthur said shortly.

Merlin's head tilted to the side. "You know you're not the boss of me outside the office, right? I don't actually have to do what you say."

"Yes I am and yes you do. Now off it goes. Come on."

Merlin sighed loudly and started to wiggle out of his own sweater. Under his breath he muttered, "I am so spitting in your coffee on Monday."

The chill of the air rushed over both their bare skin and Gwen muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'morons' from the other side of the room.

They exchanged sweaters and put their new ones on.

Merlin said, "Your fat better not stretch it out!"

While Arthur said, "Don't get any glitter on that or you're paying for the dry cleaners."

While Arthur struggled with the battery pack, grumbling aloud about it, Merlin pulled out his phone and snapped a quick photo.

Arthur glared.

Merlin shrugged and smiled. "Just proof that Mr. Scrooge can get into the holiday spirit or no one will believe me. It's a Christmas miracle!"

Merlin eyed the way his sweater fit snugly around Arthur's frame while Arthur eyed the way purple really suited Merlin. Both turned away to drink from their beers, both subtly sniffing the sweater they were now wearing. They therefore both missed Gwaine sharing a look with Leon after seeing them smelling each others clothes.

"I am not a Scrooge," Arthur muttered.

Merlin looked over at him, "What?"

"I happened to have actually gotten you a gift you know."

"Oh?" Merlin smirked. "Is it a day off?"

Arthur elbowed his side, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Hmmm. It's staples isn't it?"

"I needed something shut that mouth of yours."

Merlin sighed and like a man completely without hope asked, "Can you even pretend to be nice?"

"I am nice."

"You can't even participate in a Christmas party."

"I am participating." Arthur gestured to his chest. "I have the sweater and everything."

"That you stole!" Merlin shook his head in mock exasperation. "I bet you hate eggnog too."

"I'm allergic to eggs!"

"Ha! I knew it!"

"You knew nothing." With a self-deprecating shake of the head Arthur sighed, "And I just gave you the ammo to kill me."

"I'm not going to kill you on Christmas." Merlin shrugged, "New Year's, maybe. I'll pelt you with eggs from the roof!"

Arthur tried hard not to smile as he unconsciously picked a silver strand of something off Merlin's shoulder. "I do like Christmas. I wrap my gifts and everything."

"More like hire people to do so. Or just make me do it."

"I string popcorn."

"After you eat half of it."

"I am not fat!"

"Keep it up and all you'll need is the beard, Santa!"

"Really? Do you want to talk about elf ears? Cus if so, yours could be-"

"My ears are perfectly normal!"

"For Santa's little helper!"

"That's it," Merlin pointed towards the edge of the tree where a polar bear dressed as Santa sat with a coke bottle in its lap. "I'm getting the Santa hat."

Arthur pinned him back against the counter with one hand. "No you're not."

"What? I thought you loved Christmas."

"More than you."

"No one loves Christmas more than me."

"Oh yeah?" Arthur crossed his arms and smirked, ready for battle. "I grow and cut down my own tree every year."

Merlin smirked back, crossing his own arms and pushing into Arthur's space, even though Arthur was already pushing him into the counter. "I make ornaments with my mom."

"I decorate my house and my sisters _and_ my fathers. I've won competitions."

"I volunteer at the soup kitchen."

"You do that all year round."

"It's extra nice on Christmas!"

"I donate gifts!"

"I wrap donated gifts!"

"I go to the Nutcracker every year."

"You do not."

"Do too. When I was younger, I wanted to be in it but my dad wouldn't let me."

"Well…" Merlin sputtered -the image of Arthur wearing tights suddenly too distracting. "I go caroling."

"I do that too."

"You guys are fighting about who loves Christmas more," Percy asked with a huff of laughter and pointed upwards. "While standing under mistletoe. And neither of you are kissing?"

"What?" Arthur said and tossed his head up the same time as Merlin and spotted the tiny green and white devil plant. "Oh. Whoa, I don't think-"

"What's the matter Arthur?" Gwaine teased. "Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"Yeah, Arthur." Merlin grinned victoriously. "I guess I have more if I'm willing to kiss you for the sake of tradition."

"Oh I'll kiss you," Arthur growled. "I'll kiss the holiday cheer right out of you."

"And I'll kiss the jingle bells-"

Arthur shut Merlin up with his lips, grabbing his face and showing him exactly who loved Christmas more. Merlin enthusiastically tried to top him, grabbing at the bows and ribbons he had glued onto the sweater Arthur was now wearing and pulling their bodies closer as they started to compete with their tongues.

"Those two," Morgana sighed as she entered the apartment to see everyone snapping photos of her brother with his PA. "Seriously."

Gwen smiled as she greeted her by the door. "Do you want to set them up on New Year's too?"

"If they are not dating by New Year's I swear to god we will lock them in the coatroom."

"Deal."

* * *

On Monday morning Arthur arrived to the office to open a company-wide email that said 'Happy Holidays!' in bright lettering with a picture of him underneath. A god awful picture with him struggling to fit into Merlin's atrocious Christmas sweater.

"Merlin!"

Merlin cheerfully strode into Arthur's office, an open cup of coffee in his hands. "Would you like your coffee with or without an extra dash of vengeance?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Not unless I kill you first," Merlin winked and spun around, leaving Arthur his coffee -with one egg wobbling at its side.


End file.
